Just for Laughs 2012: Kermit, Piggy and the Muppet gang take Montreal (2024)

MONTREAL - Security is tighter than usual. Then again, the Muppets are not your usual superstars. They rarely leave their homes or studio. But reclusive though they may be, they have decided to make a rare foray away from their confines, and so the Muppets, en masse, will serve as hosts for two Just for Laughs galas, July 26 at 7 and 10 p.m. at Salle Wilfrid Pelletier of Place des Arts.

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Needless to say, there is considerable trepidation from certain Muppet members about coming to Montreal. In an exclusive interview with The Gazette, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, along with several other troupers, allow that they have plenty on their collective plate.

And in the case of Kermy, the plate is not just a metaphor. Evidently, the Swedish Chef, or perhaps the diabolical Statler and Waldorf, informed him that his gams would be considered a gourmet item in a city renowned for its haute cuisine.

“That’s why I’m travelling with a bodyguard,” says an apprehensive Kermit. “Actually, it’s Miss Piggy … but trust me nobody gets near my legs – or anything else – when she’s around. And for this gala, I need to protect my legs; it’s tough to do stand-up without them.”

Kermy may have more to worry about when here. Word has sifted through, again by Statler and Waldorf, that Montreal is as known for its women as its restaurants.

“I am not aware of that,” Kermit sharply replies. “And I’ll pretend that you didn’t tell me, because, unfortunately, my bodyguard will not protect me against jealous pigs … especially when that pig is herself.”

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As for Kermy’s long-time love/foil, Miss Piggy denies she is remotely worried by those who might be smitten by her man … er, amphibian.

“Oh, not at all,” says the smiling, ever-calculating Miss Piggy. “Moi’s right hand doubles as a French Swine Smatterer! So if you are looking to smite Moi’s frog, think again sister!”

Best to change the subject – and quickly – the sow is getting snappy. So she is queried about her other great love – fashion – for which this city is also celebrated.

“I don’t consider Moi a mere fashion ‘statement,’ ” she retorts. “I’m more of a fashion proclamation! In fact, I was recently voted a haute couture icon by the International Association of Divas. As for fashion in Montreal: I will adore seeing how the stylish locals express themselves. But when it comes to shopping, I’m a one-woman economic stimulus program!”

The swine seems to have warmed up a tad and asks for a suggestion where she and Kermy can check out while here. I can’t resist, advising her to visit Au Pied de Cochon.

“Moi is absolutely looking forward to visiting my dear friend Martin Picard! I’ve never been to his place before,” she says. “It’s a shoe boutique, right?”

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Uh-huh. In another corner of the room, a Muppet is cracking up after hearing Miss Piggy’s response. Easy for Fozzie Bear to laugh; there are no bear bistros in Montreal. Yet.

Fozzie, though, is particularly pumped about coming here. Stand-up is his trade, after all, and he will be touching base with the best wits in the business.

“To share the stage with all those great comics is an honour and a privilege. I just hope they leave some laughs for me,” says a humble Fozzie.

As for his fave wits, he is somewhat circ*mspect: “I don’t like to name favourites, because I might offend someone – not if I forget them, but if I mention their names. However, I have been influenced by all the greats: Steve Martin, Jerry Lewis, Buster Keaton, Jerry Seinfeld, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Wheeler & Woolsey and, of course, my mentor and chief joke writer, Gags Beasley.”

Guess we can thank Gags for this Fozzie zinger: “Why did the chicken cross the Internet?” the bear asks. “To get to the other site! Ahh! Wocka! Wocka! Wocka! Get it? Internet? Site … Chicken. Hoo-boy! …. Don’t worry, I’ve got better stuff for the gala … I hope.”

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Yeah, us, too.

Rizzo the Rat isn’t amused with the bear banter. And he’s just not feeling the love from the other Muppets.

“As usual, we rats are the unsung heroes at these shows and aren’t seen on stage that much,” he mutters.

“We do all the behind-the-scenes work that makes it all happen. Y’know, the lifting and toting and hauling and caterwauling. It ain’t that bad, though, ’cause while the show is on, we’re backstage eating everything the caterer brought for the after-party.”

But even the carping of the rodent Rizzo takes a back seat to that of my fave curmudgeons, Statler and Waldorf. They actually claim to be excited about coming here.

“We’re looking forward to being in Montreal,” says a sincere-sounding Statler.

“Yeah, we got tickets to the Expos game,” adds Waldorf.

“You old fool, the Expos moved!” Statler shoots back.

“That’s okay, I was gonna sleep through the game anyway,” replies Waldorf, while Statler shakes his fists in disgust.

Perhaps surprisingly, the senior codgers are up to speed on the student protests in these parts, and most would never guess where their sympathies lie there.

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“We are in complete agreement with them,” Statler says.

“Yeah, we’ve been protesting the Muppets for years!” Waldorf says.

Adds Statler: “Maybe if they bang those pots and pans loud enough, we won’t hear the bear’s jokes.”

“Come on, grab a spoon and starting banging on that skillet!” Waldorf encourages his buddy.

The resulting clamour wakes up the dozing Swedish Chef, who appears momentarily concerned about a mutiny taking place in his kitchen. Statler and Waldorf take the opportunity to ask him if he would consider opening a Swedish resto in Montreal, since they believe there is a dearth of such cuisine in these parts and since it would give them the opportunity to ditch the chef.

“Voorski fnikerdoo, mit dee yum-yum yoobetcha!” answers the Swedish chef in a dialect all his own.

According to a linguist in the room, the Swedish Chef implies that he’ll be ordering much takeout while here. Either that, or he plans to go to IKEA to keep Statler and Waldorf permanently screwed into a credenza – and leave them in Montreal for good.

Fozzie seems to like the latter idea. This is about to trigger a brawl. Best to leave the room, I am advised. Evidently, one wouldn’t like it when the Muppets are angry.

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Don’t bet on it.

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So why the fascination with the Muppets?

They were created back in 1955 by late visionary Jim Henson, and while they have shown up on the big screen as recently as last year, they haven’t had a recurring show on the tube since 1998.

And let’s just say that having puppet-like critters hosting two Just for Laughs galas seems like quite the stretch – even for wild-and-crazy head programmer Robbie Praw.

What, Beavis and Butt-Head weren’t available? SpongeBob was bound to other commitments?

“We started to dream a little – a lot – at a planning meeting for this year’s 30th anniversary,” Praw says. “We wanted to bring something completely out of the box. I mentioned the Muppets and everyone thought it was a joke.”

Praw figured the fest had already snagged some super human acts like Bill Hader, John Pinette, Lewis Black, Joel McHale, Bob Saget and Howie Mandel as hosts. “So why not go after the Muppets? They have been among the best variety-TV hosts in the world, having hosted one of the funniest shows – and for all ages and nationalities around the world.”

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But it was still just a fantasy scenario. The Muppets have never done anything like hosting live shows at a festival before.

“They never did this in New York or L.A. They’ve never done anything like this before anywhere. But they’re doing it here for the first time,” Praw marvels. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime mega-event for us.”

Their shows will also be entirely geared to Montreal and the festival. And when not singing or kicking up a storm, Kermy et al will also be interacting with and introducing the other comics on stage.

Praw has booked some of the biggest names in the biz – Steve Martin, Tina Fey, Jerry Seinfeld – but he insists he has never had such a response or demand for tickets as for these shows.

“Jaded industry folks in New York and L.A. are even incredulous that we managed to score the Muppets,” Praw says.

Not surprisingly, the 31-year-old Praw, in his youth, was a huge fan. “I was always enchanted by their show, even when I was not such a kid. There’s a lot of connective tissue between what we do at the festival and what the Muppets have done on TV.

“And, really, hasn’t the time finally come for Fozzie Bear to prove he belongs on stage with the best comedians in the world? This will be Fozzie’s big moment. That was really the deal breaker. The Muppets weren’t going to come if Fozzie wasn’t given his shot at the comedy limelight.”

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Nor will Fozzie’s shtick be limited to a tween-set audience, Praw insists. “That bear is going to shock audiences with his wit. He has an edge. Okay, he may not be as good as Louis C.K., but I guarantee you that he won’t be as bad as Pamela Anderson.”

The Muppets host Just for Laughs galas, July 26 at 7 and 10p.m. at Salle Wilfrid Pelletier of Place des Arts. Also on the bill are Danny Bhoy and Tom Papa. Tickets: $51.90 to $88.09. Call 514-845-3155 or 514-842-2112; visit hahaha.com or pda.qc.ca.

For more Gazette coverage of the Just for Laughs comedy festival and other Montreal festivals, go to our Festival Central page at montrealgazette.com/festivalcentral. And during the festival, check out comedy blog at montrealgazette.com/laughs

bbrownstein@montrealgazette.com

Twitter: @billbrownstein

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